The beginning of the end.

I'm finally almost done with the fall semester. It's gone by so fast, yet I didn't think it would ever end all at the same time. In 5 months' time, I will be a college graduate with a degree I love. Clinicals make me so happy. Nursing, in general, makes me so happy. I've been euphoric most of the week, knowing I'm done with clinical prep, writing care plans, and perhaps most importantly, the psych unit.

However, I have to get through boards. Talking about the NCLEX literally gives me anxiety. Which is kind of funny, because it, like my graduation, is almost a half year away. I also don't like the question of "Where are you going to work when you're done?" I don't know. And I absolutely hate not knowing things. Uncertainty makes me feel adventurous for about 5 minutes, until I realize I really just don't know what's going on and that a lot can go wrong.

But that's the negative side of it. Positives? I'll be in the pediatric intensive care unit (PICU) for my practicum. I think it'll be a good experience to work with children and decide whether or not to rule it out. I also think it's going to be a lot of fun to carry bubbles in the pockets of my Dora the Explorer scrubs. I'm also headed to Essentia for my med-surg clinicals. Also a little apprehensive about this, because I'm a Sanford girl through and through, but I'll get over it. It will be good to get outside my little Sanford bubble I've lived in since before I even got in the nursing program.

I still work on my co-op floor, which I love. It is so much harder than working on 7 ever was. It kicks my butt, but that's a good feeling. I think I could be happy working there after graduation. It makes me nervous that so many nurses keep jumping ship. But I liked it for the three months I was there. I think I could like it for a least a couple years if I don't decide to go to Denver. I also think I could love Denver almost instantly if I went there. Minus the support system. I have some family there, but I've learned to rely heavily on friends and not burden my family as much. So I forsee that being a very lonely first couple months.

Whatever. I don't know what life has in store with me, and that's okay, for right now. I'm going to focus on the present and what I know I've got here for sure. That's going to be good enough for right now. And 'that' is good friends, family, and a life I love.