Graduation

So now that I've finished my last fall semester in undergraduate EVER (that seems so weird to say that), people keep asking me the same question: What are you going to do when you're done?

This is a normal question. Hell, I've probably asked people in the same position that same question. But when I hear it, I get nervous, the urge to hide, and a little nauseous. I simply don't know the answer. I used to think I knew. Denver. That's been my same answer for the last 2 years. The end of the summer/beginning of this semester, I could say Denver with literally zero hesitation. The more I stay here (in my little comfort zone), the more I think it might not be so terrible to end up here. I've got a strong support system in Fargo, not to mention that I know my floor. I'm friends with nurses, aides...it's a wonderful feeling.

So I've been ignoring this question for most of the month. Until today. I got an email from the nurse recruiter, Rob, at P/SL (my most favorite hospital in Denver) just to see how I was doing. How. Cool. Like, that he cares enough to follow up with me is huge. A really good sign. I emailed him back, gave him all the highlights of my semester including where my practicum will be. I decided to push it and see if I could meet with the managers of all the floors I wanted to work on. This includes oncology, Peds, and your general med/surg. He said yes. So I am going to go there over Spring Break and hope for the best. Hopefully I will have a little better idea by then of what I want to do.

I talked to a lot of people about this. I think the best advice I got was from Lindsay. Instead of outright telling me what to do, she said that I could go to Denver, see how I felt about it, and nobody was making me stay. I can always leave after working there and come back to Fargo if things are just horrendous. Which is good advice.

I think what I'm most afraid of, is failing.

I wanted to go to Denver for my co-op. That didn't work out. I wouldn't change my co-op experience for the world...I met one of the coolest people I've ever known, and I'm going to be always grateful for that. My nursing friends often talk about how jealous they are that I still hang out with my summer preceptor...who more accurately is now my friend. I also wanted to go to Denver for my practicum. My teacher didn't send it in as early as she had originally intended, and so here I am, at Sanford again. I guess...I'm just scared I'll wait for Denver and that it won't work out. And then I'll be jobless.

I've got a few months before I really have to worry about it. So we'll cross that bridge when it comes. In the mean time, I'm going out tonight to celebrate the end of the semester in true college student fashion.

The Turf.